I haven't been posting much recently...or finding creative outlets for myself at all these past weeks in college, and I have a good explanation as of why. Initially before college began, I was so set on pursuing a journalism major, though now I'm not even sure if majoring in English is even the best option for me anymore. Honestly, I thought that the only thing I was decently average at was writing, so I was determined to make use of the ability by striving for the best job possible in that market. Now I've realized writing might be something I love to do, though isn't what I want my entire future to be shaped around. Writing shouldn't be something forced out to me- it should be fluent and natural and genuine from within. With journalism, I found that I didn't enjoy being constrained to strict standards and rules and having to pump out articles at least twice a week if my heart and soul wasn't being put into every single word. Sadly, English just isn't something I'm completely devoted to at the moment and can find myself having future job prospects or happiness. So now I'm faced with the scary disillusionment of not knowing what the hell I want to do with myself for the next four years I'm at college. This post doesn't really have an ending because I still have no solution to my confusion, though I'm opening my options and trying out different things that I find to be interesting. I guess the substance of this post is that interests change, life isn't always what it seems to be, and that it's okay to be indecisive. I'm still young and trying to figure out my future... but not going to lie, I worry constantly that i'll never find something I'm good at. I hope that I find my happiness soon and can finally live my life without anxiety of the future. Wish me luck!
➵KW
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