Hi all! It's been awhile since I've made a post... mostly because I've been crammed with so much studying and essay writing due to my need to always procrastinate. Second semester has finally begun and I can proudly say I feel a lot more confident this time around than in the fall. I've finally found the motivation to work hard and think positively, though some days I do fall back into that deep, dark hole of empty feelings. I'm just proud to say that I'm slowly overcoming it, or at least able to control the wave of emotions before they hit me too hard.
This semester so far has consisted of studying, binge watching Netflix and Hulu, and many many naps. I've been feeling so tired lately that it takes me so much energy just to roll out of bed and get dressed in the morning. Last semester I didn't even have the motivation to get up and I'd often miss my early classes (don't follow in my footsteps because it will 100% backfire on you). I realized that a busy schedule is what distracts me from feeling down, so now my days consist of waking up early and coming back for dinner. Usually the feeling of being on my own and alone would scare me, though now I enjoy my days alone so I can think peacefully and not deal with all the stress of being around so much drama with people. Don't get me wrong, there are benefits to living with others and my room mate and I aren't on bad terms, though being in college really taught me that I can't live with people too long or I'll probably go crazy.
Although I've been getting really grumpy about not living in my own, I've also been appreciating the friends I've been making this semester at the same time. Last semester I was so concerned with making friends and fitting in that I would stress myself out so much and wouldn't even want to hang out with people often. Now I've learned to be comfortable in my own body and not be ashamed of myself... my cat loving, Netflix binging, food obsessed, hypochondriac self. :) And the people I surround myself with accept this about me and I couldn't be more grateful for that.
Recently I've also been taking care of myself more - whether it's dressing up and doing my makeup or just feeding myself properly. Now that I've gained a more positive outlook on light, I've also been interested in fashion again and beauty related things, so stay tuned for a new beauty&style post!
These two semesters have been the most stressful so far, but I'm beginning to get the hang of college now. Sometimes I'm still not even sure what I want to do with my life anymore, though now that I'm more in tune with my emotions and needs, I know it'll be a lot easier for me to decide where I want to end up (transferring, staying, idk??).
Thanks everyone for catching up with me & expect more style-oriented posts!
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