Thank you, Newspaper

I've always been a worrier - a person that constantly changed their mind, freaked out over minuscule subjects, and let that darkness consume me whole.

As I was in this negative state of mind (and still a little bit am), nothing really interested me anymore. I didn't want to read books for fun, even though I used to hoard dozens and dozens of books. Music seemed boring to me and the lyrics and sounds just became dull and meaningless to me. And I didn't want to write anymore, when writing was the number one thing I turned to when I felt like I was stuck in a rut. Ideas just weren't flowing through my mind anymore - I mean, how would they? My mind was constantly in this state of panic and confusion as I was living in this whole new environment with new people and new classes and just new everything.

As I sat hour by hour, day by day, thinking of all the possibilities of my future and what-if's, I stumbled upon a Facebook post advertising for the first meeting of the newspaper of my school. At first, I ignored the idea because I was sure that my dreams of becoming a journalist would be crushed. The competition was too high, the pay too low, and the uncertainty scared me. Though, a part of me forced myself to at least go to one meeting and try.



I went to a meeting awkwardly by myself, signed up for some different sections of the paper, and sent in one application. I quickly wrote a blog post on a whim so they'd have some idea of my writing, though I edited that one post for an hour. Finally, I pressed submit and sighed as I waited for a rejection letter. I've never applied anywhere before really, and I've definitely never applied to a newspaper.

That's when a few days later, I got an e-mail back saying I was accepted! Me? Accepted? A feeling of excitement rushed throughout my entire body as I jumped around the room singing that I got in. I texted my parents and my friends - a simple little acceptance e-mail somehow quickly meant the world to me. I was so relieved that the worrying would be able to be put on pause and that I would be able to breathe again.

Now almost two months into the paper, I absolutely love being a contributing writer. I love to pitch ideas to the editor, take different jobs, interview others (even though I'm extremely awkward, but I'm working on it!), and just overall learn about other people around the area and let their stories be heard. Every single day a new idea pops into my mind at the most random times, and if I decide it would be quality for the newspaper, I immediately send out an e-mail to the editors.

Thank you, newspaper, for helping me find some more meaning during this stressful stage of my life. Although I'm still uncertain if I want to pursue journalism as an actual career, I'm still grateful for the opportunity to write again for enjoyment and just do what I love. For once, I finally am starting to worry a little less.